Matt Cutting Back

Not much is happening in my life right now. I’ve cut back on all the exciting things I could be doing (like buying new Matt Damon DVDs) because I just don’t have the money. Sad, isn’t it? Matt has cut back on a few things too, but I suspect money isn’t his issue. He’s recently dropped two movie roles from his plans and will be taking a couple of months off to spend time with his family. I’m sure Luciana will be happy about that. She knew when she married him that she’d have to share him with the world, but even things for which we prepare ourselves can still be quite difficult.

Originally, Matt had planned to do a movie called Brothers, in which the black sheep of the family is left behind to care for his sibling’s wife and child when the younger boy is sent off to war in Afghanistan. Variety now reports, however, that the brothers in question will be played by Jake Gyllenhaal and Tobey Maguire.

He was working with Mark Wahlberg on a deal to bring another brother movie to the screen as well. The Fighter is about boxer Mickey Ward (to be played by Wahlberg), whose half-brother, Dicky Eklund, helped train him for championship fights. Mickey’s Dicky will now be played by Brad Pitt. I wish Pitt would play (with) my dicky!

So Matt’s life is just too animated these days. He’s been flying all over the world to support The Bourne Ultimatum, and his wife and daughters are getting tired of being Mattless. I’m pretty sure, as well, his wife wants to see him again on the mattress. But if you’re looking for some Damon animation in your life, look for the guest appearance he made on the PBS series Arthur. He provides the voice for an animated version of himself (with bear ears) in an episode which originally aired September 3 (but surely will be repeated – it’s PBS, after all!). It’s part of an initiative called Postcards from You, whose purpose is to encourage viewers (presumably the young kind the series regularly draws) to make their own videos. Why they would want to encourage such a thing, I don’t really know. Children already have too much of that “look at me!” thing going on, for my taste. Matt will also be animated next year in episode 15 of The Simpsons, TV’s longest-running comedy. The episode is called Lost Verizon.

And to wrap up, apropos of absolutely nothing, when Matt was interviewed on radio station B105 in Brisbane, Australia, they asked him a question that’s cute enough to mention here. I don’t know how the topic came up (or why I didn’t mention it until now), but Matt was asked what it looks like when he stands next to Hugh Jackman. Matt said: "It looks like we’re brothers but one of us was left in the oven longer. He’s about six inches taller than me." Six inches, hee hee. That gives a guy a lot of dirty thoughts. Well, this guy, anyway. But I know my friend Melissa will be verklempt just to see a mention of her beloved Hugh. We saw him on Broadway together when he did The Boy From Oz. Now when is Matt coming to Broadway, hm?

Britney Stumbles, Where’s Matt?

Well, it looks like O.J. will finally do some time, Mrs. Rodham Clinton may finally get to roll out her health care plan and Britney’s finally on the skids…or is she?

She’s being talked about everywhere (and cried over on YouTube). Entertainment Weekly just ran a cover story wondering if this is the end for her, after a long series of bizarre and highly publicized events. But in the article, they also point out her forthcoming album has at least four songs which are “pretty good” and may have her feverishly downloading fans screaming Gimme More! What is all this furor?

You see, Britney gave what many consider to be a train wreck of a performance on the MTV Video Music Awards on September 9. She seemed to stumble as she danced (and as she walked), her hair weave wasn’t particularly flattering, her mouth seemed out of synch with the lyrics the audience was hearing and her abs seemed to support the findings of mothers everywhere after giving birth – it’s hard to get that figure back! But was it really the worst performance ever? I don’t think I’d go that far. I don’t even think it was the worst performance ever by Britney. I’ve read about her 15 minute min-concerts where she barely bothered lip synching and some where she even left the stage while the music still played. If you ask me, Britney seems tired. Tired of performing, tired of dealing with the press, tired of rehearsing. The one thing she doesn’t seem too tired to do is party. She’s not a girl, not yet a woman, but she’s a real party monster! She was seen doing shots with Puff Daddy, drinking champagne with P. Diddy and dancing ‘til dawn with Sean Combs.

Not everyone wants to slam the former parochial school girl impersonator, though. Some have taken her side. There’s a “blond” boy who’s become famous on YouTube for crying over Ms. Brit’s misfortunes. He wants us to leave her alone. And you know, I’m quite prepared to do just that. Whether Britney makes a comeback or backs herself into a corner isn’t of any interest to me. But something this small town crier said did give me pause. MSNBC’s Netiquette column, by Helen A.S. Popkin, quotes this guy in an interview saying “To be honest, Britney’s a national treasure. Everyone has an opinion. Believe it or not, for my generation, it’s just as big of a topic as 9/11.” Wow! Britney’s performance on the VMAs is as big a topic as 9/11! I had no idea. Isn’t that akin to John Lennon once claiming the Beatles were bigger than Jesus?

Directly following Brit’s VMA appearance, insult comic Sarah Silverman took the stage and said some terribly disturbing things about the Toxic girl, referring to her children as mistakes, and saying they were just as adorable as the hairless vagina from which they came, which is ridiculous! How does she know if it was hairless or not when those kids were born? Really, Sarah! D-Lister Kathy Griffin backed Ms. Silverman up, stating that she had no choice. “As a comedian, what are you supposed to do? Are you supposed to walk out and say, ‘Britney sure was great, everybody!’? Your hands are tied. You have to go there.” I disagree. Maybe you can’t say “Britney was great,” but is it really necessary to attack her 1- and 2-year-old children?

I say all this to say that it’s hard to be in the public eye. One minute they love you, the next they’re tearing you down like the Berlin Wall. Matt, of course, is having a very good year. Ocean’s 13 and that other little movie, what was it, something about being Bourne again, oh yes, The Bourne Ultimatum, have done very well at the box office and Matt has been seen pushing the baby buggy all over the world with his adorable little Isabella (by the way, no one is asking for your opinion of this, Sarah Silverman). But for some reason, Variety columnist Peter Bart put out word in his September 14 column to ask where Matt has gone. That he seems to be press shy and never wants to talk about himself. He said he felt Matt must have concluded “The safest path for a movie star is to remain totally remote from the media, and to be utterly secretive about your personal tastes and beliefs -- in short, to disappear as a person.” Wow, do Peter Bart and I see two entirely different realities! A quick scan of the excellent Matt Damon Column (http://mattdamoncolumn.livejournal.com/) shows Matt did press for The Bourne Ultimatum in Mexico City, Deauville, Amsterdam, Berlin, London, Málaga, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, New York, LA, Oklahoma City and Boise!

He has spoken out publicly about various charities, including the Greendimes Campaign (which reduces the amount of junk mail you receive, thereby saving millions of trees), DATA (Debt AIDS Trade Africa, an advocacy organization dedicated to eradicating AIDS and extreme poverty in Africa), OneXOne (committed to supporting, preserving and improving the lives of children around the world) and the ONE Campaign (Americans united as one to help make poverty history). He and producer Frank Marshall lent themselves to a benefit premiere of The Bourne Ultimatum in Oklahoma City and raised $192,000 for The Children’s Center. He also appeared at his friends’ premieres: at Michael Clayton for George Clooney and at The Assassination of Jesse James… for Brad Pitt and Casey Affleck. He was also on hand to introduce the documentary Running the Sahara, for which he serves as narrator, at the Toronto International Film Festival.

His guest spot on PBS’ ArthurOn top of all that, he found the time to do voiceovers for two popular animated series. aired September 3, and his appearance on The Simpsons will be the 15th episode in next season’s schedule.

Hardly a recluse, eh Mr. Bart? But as long as Britney grabs all the headlines, I guess we'll just never know what little ol' Matt is up to, will we?