Act Bad, Don’t Hurt Me, Look Sexy, Talk Dirty

No, that's not the advice Joe Eszterhas gave Elizabeth Berkley while filming Showgirls. It's a vocal riff in the lead track on Janet Jackson's new album. I remember when Janet first got Control of her career. She was like a little Black Cat who could be Nasty one minute and then tell us all about The Pleasure Principle the next. Here we are 20 years later and she’s released an album that she says looks back on what she’s accomplished and forward to what she’ll be bringing us in the days to come. 20 Y.O. is so titled because that’s how old her independent singing career is, after she wrenched control of it away from her father. It also just happens to be how long I’ve been loving Miss Jackson.

I was thrilled, as I always am, to get anything new from Janet, and I giggled like a school girl writing Mrs. Matt Damon in her notebook as I listened to the first track. Janet gives us teasers of songs we all know and love, and then proceeds to wonder aloud what on earth she can talk about on this album, since she’s already talked about racism, spousal abuse, empowering women and children. She’s covered a lot in her 20 years, and, she admits, she’s uncovered a lot (here we get the girly giggle I’ve come to adore).

Janet gives us the usual assortment of dance tracks and sexy ballads. And yes, there’s a light thunderstorm again. The girl loves the rain, it seems. Right before Take Care she dials a number (well, ten digits – she’s not going to get anyone in NYC with that) and asks “When are you coming home?” Then she purrs “I miss you.” You see, she’s in a sexy mood and only you can fill her needs. Don’t you want to fill Janet’s needs?

Aside from missing her man, she lets us know she’s So Excited, and that she’s looking for you to “Act bad, don’t hurt me, look sexy, talk dirty.” She warns us up front we’ll go crazy when we see her start shaking This Body of hers. Yes, I do kind of go crazy each time I watch Janet - Live in Hawaii. This body of hers is really amazing!

Janet is cuddly when she wants to be and she bumps and grinds like nobody’s business. But how is the music? Well, you might as well ask how Matt Damon's performance is in Good Will Hunting. It's worth your time, okay? Janet and longtime producing team Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis use grand staccato chords in So Excited and a Bollywood beat for Get It Out Me. They channel Prince on This Body and give us a carousel-like sound on Daybreak that took me back for a sec to Escapade.

There are many musical moods on this disc, but primarily it’s a happy environment. It’s one you’re likely to stay in as you play the album through and then start over again from the top. Or maybe that’s just me. I've listened to it five times already and I still need to go back and put on my favorite track: Enjoy. On this one, she tells us it rained yesterday, but that was ok, she can’t complain ‘cuz she loves it either way. Why let yourself get down about anything? We only go ‘round once, right? So we may as well “Enjoy and celebrate/Enjoy the love we make/Enjoy appreciate/Enjoy.” I enjoy Enjoy so much I think I'm gonna be enjoying it for years to come!

You know who else I enjoy? Matt Damon! Since Janet is feeling all “My career is 20 years old” I thought I would look back to see what Matt was doing when he was 20 years old. He already had his first film under his belt (ooh, would I like to see what else he has under his belt!). He delivered only one line (but beautifully) in the film Mystic Pizza as Steamer, the younger brother of Charlie - a role for which Ben Affleck also auditioned. Of course, that’s neither here nor there, I’m just sayin’ is all.

Two years later, Matt graduated to playing Charlie, but in a different movie. TNT’s Rising Son gave Matt the chance to drop out of medical school the way he had dropped out of Harvard in real life. Only this time he blamed his father, Brian Dennehy, for being unemployed, whereas in real life the culprit was his budding film career. So thank God he left Harvard early so we could have him that much sooner!

Matt’s film career is only 18 Y.O., but if he would moan and groan and shimmy and shake like Janet Jackson, I’d be one quivering mass of jelly…So Excited and so ready to enjoy and celebrate, enjoy the love we make, enjoy, appreciate…